Where Are The Immigrants ?

That was the Zimbabwean news response to the Olympic opening ceremony, was he watching another channel ? If anything, I would have said that Danny Boyle was slightly guilty of over-representation of Black and Asian faces with each scene carefully choreographed to demonstrate Britain's multi-cultural and ethnically diverse, and the most obvious scene of immigration was the actual re-creation of the Windrush and the first wave of Caribbean immigration.   What of your violent colonial past ? asked the same correspondent. Well, come one, no country is going to put on parade their past transgressions in this sort of thing.  Although if he thought there wasn't anything counter-culture going on, then he wasn't listening to the music either.

London 2012 Olympics, The Opening Ceremony

What do you think about the opening ceremony ? I thought it was quite splendid, quintessentially British, a homage to some of the incredible things Britain has achieved married to a knowing understanding of some of the harsher realities of life.

After the incredible opening ceremony in Beijing, Danny Boyle had already said he would not attempt a similar style of ceremony. Instead, what Boyle produced was a potted history of Britain replete with mythological and political imagery; China and other nations cannot failed to have noticed that part of what Britain chose to showcase about itself was the human and political rights movement of the Suffragettes, and pride we feel in having a National Health Service.

Boyle wove together great strands of what we were, the industrial revolution and empire building, with what we hope we are today, inclusive, multi-cultural, ready to acknowledge our shared past and muddle on together as best we can.

The things that Britain still does really were pushed to the fore, literature and especially J K Rowling's all conquering Harry Potter series was featured as a huge Voldemort fell beneath an onslaught of Mary Poppinses with illuminated brollies. The music showcased a parade of British talent from the Elgar through numerous acts familiar to a global audience, The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, David Bowie, and Boyle was happy to use the cynical and the anti-establishment as Pink Floyd, The Clash and The Sex Pistols music was put to good effect.

Other parts of the ceremony showed the traditionally British way of being self-deprecating and quirky, Rowan Atkinson turned in a quick performance as Mr. Bean, trying to cheat his way into beating the Chariots Of Fire runners.  The Italian national news service described the ceremony as "as unpredictable as the people here" and went on to say that only the British could conceive of doing the event in this fashion.

After much speculation over who was to light the Olympic Flame inside the stadium, Britain put in to practise the Olympic ideal, to inspire the next generation, seven young British athletes nominated by British gold medal winners ran into the stadium and lit the cauldron that had been constructed from petals carried in at the head of each participating team.

Personally I thought that the opening ceremony was a great success, it was unorthodox and showed off as many British idiosyncrasies as it did British achievements, but this is how we British are, we are actually really proud of all the great things we have done, but we don't like to boast about it. Well done Mr. Boyle, that was a tough ask, and I mean this most sincerely when I say that wasn't a bad job, not bad at all.

Drugs Again

Frank Schleck has withdrawn from Le Tour amidst allegations of doping. A urine test has revealed the presence of Xipamide, a medicine that lowers blood pressure and increases urine production. Schleck has left the tour voluntarily, and is arguing that he has done nothing wrong and that any positive test result must be the result of 'poisoning.'

I am not sure what to think about this, professional cycling has a long history of drug problems and despite the modern Tour taking a much tougher stance against dopers riders are still willing to take the risk.  If Schleck has been interfered with in some way I would imagine it would be very difficult to prove without evidence from the 'poisoner'.

Bradley Wiggins remains the General Classification leader, defending champion Cadel Evans has had a bad few days in the mountains and is now over 8 minutes behind the race leader.

England Demolish Australia / TDF etc.

Hurrah!  We'll be claiming the whitewash, Australia can't count a rain abandonment as a draw.  It is great to see England finally improving as a one day side, just so long as it does not accompany a slump in form in the longer game.

Shane Warne said before the series that England were becoming "arrogant" and were going to be humbled by Australia.  Well Botox features, you couldn't have been more wrong, the visiting Australian side were weaker in every department than their English counterparts who completed their series whitewash in stylish and accomplished form.

On a serious cricket note, I am sure that everyone who loves the game sends their best wishes to Mark Boucher after the freak accident that has caused his early retirement. Boucher has been a stalwart member of the South African team in recent years, a fierce and determined competitor who had said in interviews prior to the England tour that he wanted to lead SA to a series victory and up to #1 in the test rankings.  Jacques Kallis said the day after the accident "It's not about cricket any more," he said. "It's about a mate and hoping he recovers fully. It puts cricket and life into perspective."

Mark Boucher

Over in France Bradley Wiggins didn't just win the individual time trial, but won in by such a margin that so long as he can stay out of any further crashes he has set himself up for being the winner of the yellow jersey. Team mate Chris Froome also excelled at the Stage 9 time trial, both of the Sky riders were comfortably ahead of defending Australian champion Cadel Evans. What's that ? England* beating Australia again, they must be getting sick of that.

*I know, Wiggins was born in Belgium and Froome in Kenya, but that's English enough when it comes to giving the Ozzies a spanking.

Le Tour

The Tour de France has been incredible so far with multiple crashes changing the race on an almost daily basis.  Mark Cavendish, as it he was in the Giro earlier this year, has been involved in crashes, including going down in the huge accident that happened on Stage 6.  Commentators are saying it is the worst crash in the history of the Tour, two thirds of the peloton were caught out as riders tumbled from their bikes.  Many riders were hurt, including Ryder Hesjedal who had to abandon the next day, and so many bikes were damaged that it took many minutes to sort out the wreckage.

After the mege-crash the Tour hopes of Frank Schleck, Thomas Voeckler, the entire Garmin-Sharp-Barracuda team and a host of others were effectively ended.  Bradley Wiggins and most of the Sky team escaped the carnage and were able to set themselves up for a mighty push in the first mountain stage.

As the peloton climbed the hills towards La Planche on Stage 7 the Sky riders were close to the front, and on the final Grade 1 climb Michael Rogers, Richie Porte, Christopher Froome and Bradley Wiggins executed a brutal team display to destroy most of the leading group.  The Sky train attacked and dragged the peloton up La Planche, rider after rider dropped out as the relentless pace on a hot day left them spent and wasted on the mountainside. At the top Froome took the stage, Wiggins the pre-Tour favourite the yellow jersey and Sky, despite a trailing Mark Cavendish, were the fastest team overall.

Bradley Wiggins takes the yellow jersey.

Obviously Sky will be trying to win yellow, and this does not bode too well for Cavendish's chances of gaining the points jersey.  Peter Sagan has already shown his class on hill finishes and flat sprints and with the loss of one lead-out rider Sky may not be able to support Cavendish as they try to keep Wiggins in the yellow.

Tour de France Rules

The Stakes

Whether leaders of a team or merely a team-mate, the riders on the Tour de France try to excel, either individually or as a team. According to the stage profiles, changes in the general standings or some unexpected circumstance during the race, each rider adapts his objectives to the situation. The winners of the various prizes eventually share the honours and the money at stake with their team-mates. Enough to make (almost!) everybody happy.

Stage victory

 Les 20 stages and 1 prologue Tour de France 20120are divided up as follows: 9 flat stages, 4 hilly stages with 1 summit finish, 5 mountain stages with 2 high-altitude finishes and 2 individual time-trial stages.
Prize money: € 8,000 to the winner of each stage (€ 475,000 in total).

The Yellow Jersey

 It is worn by the leader of the general individual time classification.
Prize money: € 450,000 for the outright winner (€ 1,000,000 in total).


The Green Jersey

 It is worn by the leader of the points classification. The points can be won on intermediate sprints and at stage finishes.
Prize money: € 25,000 for the outright winner (€ 125,000 in total).



The Red Polka Dot Jersey

 It is worn by the best climber. Points for best climber classification are awarded at the top of any classified slope.
Prize money: € 25,000 for the outright winner (€ 107,000 in total).


The White Jersey

 It is worn by the best young rider aged 25 years or less in the general individual time classification.
Prize money: € 20,000 for the outright winner (€ 65,000 in total).


Most aggressive rider

 This distinction is awarded at the end of each stage by a jury made up of eight cycling specialists. An outright winner is designated after the last stage of the Tour.
Prize money: € 20,000 for the outright winner (€ 56,000 in total).

The team classification

 This classification is determined by adding the times of the best three riders of each squad in each stage.
Prize money: € 50 000 € for the winning team (€ 178,000 in total).



Best climber classification: double points for the final climb

Since the 2004 edition of the Tour de France, the competition for the Red Polka Dot Jersey includes a detail that adds a certain amount of spice to the race: for the final climb on a stage's profile, the points are doubled for Category 1, Category 2 and Top Category climbs. So the riders who lead this classification are undoubtedly the most courageous ones and the prize goes to those who remain out in front in this classification for the longest period of time.

Helmets must be worn at all times

All riders must wear a helmet for the entire duration of each stage and on each stage.

Falls in the last three kilometres

As has been the case since 2005, riders involved in a fall in the last three kilometres of a stage are given the same finishing time as the group which they belonged to. This rule is not applicable in time-trial stages and stages that finish at the summit of a climb.

(taken from the official Le Tour site)

Ilkley's Olympic Torch Relay

Work was closed due to flooding so went uptown to watch the Olympic torch being carried through Ilkley. 3/4 hour before the torch is due and people are gathering in some numbers.

It won't be often that the police get a huge cheer just for turning up.

People getting high 5's from the bike cops.

Drink Pepsi, or neither, Scroobius Pip teaches "Don't buy Coca-Cola products, don't buy Nestle products."

Pretty girls, no other reason.

The main Olympic sponsor is of course Jim Robinson Decorators, here is Jim's van in the middle of the Olympic convoy.  You can call him for a quote you know. Still, I think he should have made more of an effort, even one of those plastic torches on the ladder would have made all the difference.

Huzzah! Hooray! Here is the torch.

Followed by a few minutes of friendly anarchy as people wander around on the road.

Former England Star Makes A Fool Of Himself

Flintoff questions Atherton's ability to commentate in expletive filled attack

Flintoff is wrong, just as Pieterson was wrong to have a go at Nick Knight.  The argument that only someone with equal or better skills to the person being criticised is illogical and fatuous.  I do not have children of my own, yet I can tell the difference between well behaved and badly behaved children.  I have never played football to a decent level, yet I can still see the difference between a really good team, Real Madrid for example, and a fairly average side, such as Bradford City. I do not need to have played Premiership football to be able to criticise Leeds United's defensive shortcomings last season, I just need a basic understanding of the game and some experience of watching it. Flintoff's argument is one that would preclude the overwhelming majority of us from being to talk about anything at all.

'Freddy' was a good cricketer, and had moments of glorious greatness on the field of play.  Off the field though his alcohol inspired buffoonery is as much a part of his reputation as his sporting prowess is. When it comes to criticising fellow players, whether ex or not, perhaps Flintoff should have kept a lower profile, in abusing the 37.69 test average Atherton for criticising the then form of the 48.54 average Cook, perhaps Freddy should kept in mind the fact that his own test average was only 31.77. Whatever Flintoff felt about Atherton's on-air comments, he should have presented his case in a much more measured and calm fashion, calling a former England captain a "fucking prick" at a public function is very poor form and does Flintoff's personal reputation no good at all.

English Summer Rain

Well this is thoroughly depressing. We are supposed to be hosting Men's Invitation Day today here at Ilkley Golf Club, but due to two days of very heavy rain the course is heavily flooded and it is still raining.  The time sheet was full today with around 140 golfers signed up to play, plus we have two events scheduled for tomorrow (Sunday) and on Monday we are supposed to be hosting an England Golf Captains event for 100. It isn't looking good at the moment.

Yesterday's service was rather chaotic due to the torrential rain interrupting the two visiting parties we had booked in.  Congratulations are due to the gentlemen of Headingley Golf Club and the Spreadeagle Golf Society who braved the conditions to play 18 holes in a constant, wind lashed downpour.

Thanks also to my staff for the day, Rob, Ellie, Callum, Fred and Laura who were all great and responded to our calls for rapidly changing shifts as events changed through the course of the day.

Due to insomnia I've been up since 4.30am, and the river hasn't dropped at all in that time.  Looking out from the clubhouse I can see that large areas of the 1st, 2nd and 18th holes are flooded, and of course this means that the lower lying areas of the course will be a lake this morning.

It looks like a homework day then, I may as well take advantage of the sudden lull to catch up on my A151 work.  Target for the day then; finish the chapter on the history of books, make a start on the history of museums and collections chapter, and then read the rest of the essay Metaphor, Materiality and Interpretation: The Metaphorical Tranformations of Wala Island Canoes, gripping stuff I assure you.

British Olympic Babes - Jodie Williams

"Jodie Alicia Williams (born 28 September 1993) is a British sprinter of Trinidadian descent, who specialises in the 100 and 200 metres. She is the former World Youth Champion over both distances, the reigning World Junior and European Junior Champion in the 100m and European Junior Champion in the 200m" from Wikipedia.

British Olympic Babes - Stef Reid

"Stefanie ‘Stef’ Reid is a Paralympic sprinter who competes for Great Britain in the 100m, 200m and Long Jump. Stef competed in the 2008 Paralympics for Canada and won a bronze medal in the women’s T44 200m. Switching allegiance, Stef began competing for Great Britain in 2010 and broke 3 World records in the space of 2 months. She’s Britain’s only female amputee sprinter and a strong a multi-medal prospect for London 2012." - from Stef Reid's website

Stef has been featured as part of BP's carbon offsetting campaign for the 2012 Olympics

With fellow Olympian Jonnie Peacock

"

You'll Never Beat The Irish

I am not entirely sure what is going on here, I don't reckon this is actually an Irish junior school.  I got Ireland in the Euro 2012 draw at work though, I'm just grateful I didn't get England.

[Quick bit of interwebnet research] This is a video made by the Good Child Foundation in Thailand, a charity who work towards inclusive education for Down's Syndrome children.

Goodchild Foundation

Manchester United Fans Crying

I saw a great one-liner posted on Facebook this week..."Manchester City fans haven't been this happy since they were Chelsea fans."

Literally - actually; without exaggeration or inaccuracy

"He's literally left Ben Haim for dead there." - football pundit and buffoon Jamie Redknapp witnesses an on-pitch murder during a Liverpool - Chelsea match.

Ben Haim - not dead, just slightly gormless looking.

45 Days

Coming soon : 45 Days - The Neil Warnock Story. The gripping tale of a football manager who took over a struggling mid-table Leeds United side and only 45 days later propelled them to struggling mid-table status.

British Olympic Babes 2012

I know, the blog stays dormant for ages, then all I can think to do is post pictures of pretty girls. Anyway,

this is Hannah Mills, who along with her partner Saskia Clark will be representing TeamGB

at this summer's Olympics in a boat of some sort.

Do excuse the pun, but I'm right our of my depth when it comes to boats, I think the two ladies will

be crewing a 470 class, whatever that may be.  Good luck girls, do win a medal, and, if you get chance,

see if you can get Seb Coe to just lighten up a little.

Baseball ?



Tom Stoppard

"I don't think I can be expected to take seriously any game which takes less than three days to reach its conclusion" - Sir Tom Stoppard talking about baseball and cricket.

ICC Dinner & Wine Night

Image via WikipediaThe food cooked by Dave, Richard, Owen & Callum, Maitre D'd by Liz, and served by Ellie and Rae of this parish, was wonderful.  Seriously folks, hats off to you, I think you did a quite remarkable job cooking a five course meal for 50 people from what is really just a standard home, non-commercial, kitchen, I was most impressed.

The ICC wine nights are a fund raising event for the cricket club, always popular and very well supported, where a team of very hard working volunteers cook and serve the food, and a selection of 'wine experts' select and present a wine to go with each course.  I got to choose the dessert wine (with a fabulous budget of £6 a bottle), and my presentation ran like this....

"Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a wine, the grapes for which are grown only in a single, near inaccessible valley in the Nava De Roda hills of the Ribero Del Duoro wine region in Southern Spain.


Lavish care and attention is spent on the grape vines, grape tenders camp out in the valley ensuring that each vine receives exactly the amount of water it needs and keeping the vines clear of pests. The grape tenders have to be somewhat accomplished at a musical instrument, for wine grower Jesus Montilla is convinced that the grapes grow riper with music, preferring light classical music in the growing season, and a little flamenco as the grapes ripen.

The Moscatel grapes are only picked at night, during the first frosts of Autumn, and only after being blessed by the bishop of Valencia. They are then transported in padded baskets on the backs of mules, at the winery each grape is inspected for ripeness and any that do not pass Jesus Montilla’s exacting requirements are rejected.

The grapes are then gently trod beneath the feet of young girls, filtered, and barrelled for two years before being bottled. The resulting wine is said to taste somewhere between sexual ecstasy and religious revelation, and this, ladies and gentlemen, is not that wine.

However, there is another wine, grown in vast quantities on the plains of Valencia, where the grapes are watered by the urine of passing goats who are herded by the infamous winemaker Pablo Ossario. They say that if you are downwind of Pablo that on a breezy day you can smell his BO in Madrid, on a bad day in Portugal. Pablo seasons his goat piss tinted grapes by spitting regularly and heartily into the fermenting vat, and because Pablo can’t be bothered waiting for the grapes to really ripen he sweetens the resulting wine with antifreeze (which is only rumoured to cause cancer in lab rats). This pale green, sometimes lumpy and frankly repellent vintage is bottled in stolen Marks & Spencer bottles and shipped to the UK to be aimed at the slapper & chav Lambrini girls market.

This ladies and gentlemen, is that wine, cheers."

It's Grim Up Elland Road

Image via Wikipedia

Max Gradel

Although my passion for football continues to wane with every obscene transfer fee, wage demand and episode of diving and cheating, I still want Leeds United to do well and so at the start of this season I am more disappointed than ever with Ken Bates.

On transfer deadline day yesterday Leeds lost the excellent Max Gradel along with Fede Bessone and poor Mike Grella got the sack. Coming in to bolster the side there is nobody of any real note.

Leeds fans didn't fail to notice that our defence was weak last season and with our best striker for the past few seasons already having moved on, Leeds could certainly have used another good player up front.  Oh yes, we got Billy Paynter.

If you has asked me before the beginning of this season where LUFC were likely to finish, I'd have said well short of the play-offs, and nothing in the transfer window has changed my opinion.

Mind you, the lean times at Leeds are as nothing when you have a look around the rest of Yorkshire, we don't have a club in football's top flight and yet the likes of Swansea, Norwich, West Brom, Wolves and Wigan are all up there.  Barnsley, Leeds and the doomed looking Doncaster are floating around in the Championship with none of them having a really good chance at promotion, both Sheffield sides and Hudds are doing reasonably well in Division 3 and down in Division 4 Rotherham are on top, but once Premiership Bradford are in a lowly position and lucky to still be in existence.

In other sports, the Rhinos are rugby league's almost side this season and over at Headingley...

Well, what on earth has happened to the lads at Yorkshire CCC ? This year's team is largely the same team as last year, but Yorkshire have gone from challenging for the title to certain relegation, this season's results being a constant drizzle of dismal batting and bowling figures which account for a terrible record of 2 wins from 15 games.  What happened lads ?  It makes me glad that I've spent half the season watching Ilkley CC, at least I have seen a few wins there.

England Whitewash India to Become The No.1 Test Side

I know I have not been blogging of anything much apart from my Uni work recently, but that isn't to say that I havn't been watching and listening to our glorious cricket team demolish India to become the best test team in the world.  England have been dominant in all departments, bowling, batting and fielding and the previously powerful and talented Indian team have look tired and weak in comparison.

Andrew Strauss's team really have become something quite astonishing, and now we are on top the team will have to work equally hard to keep this position, India will want to return to the top of the world and Australia are always hungry for victory.  At least until the next round of tests though....