The current office of civil rights (OCR) has determined that rape and sexual assault that occur on college campuses are actually acts of sexual harassment that are/should have been classified as instances of discrimination. (—I presume based on gender; so it takes a certain amount of logical gymnastics to explain how sexual violence against men, “corrective rape” etc. fits in here. If sexual violence against women has created an unfair, unequal atmosphere and learning environment for women, since women are overwhelmingly the victims of crimes of sexual violence, how can a male victim of rape, victims of same-sex violence, etc. be experiencing discrimination based on sexual harassment?)
So across the country, offices that have been providing Advocacy Services for rape victims have been turned on their heads.
1. If a rape is committed on campus, and the crime victim goes to the Advocacy Office, the Advocate MUST report the rape TO BE INVESTIGATED. So rather than first assist the traumatized crime victim with getting some class leeway, a couple days off, helping her/him go to the hospital, explore possibilities of having contracted syphilis, gonorrhea, genital warts, herpes, and AIDS, testing for pregnancy, explain options about reporting to police, and primarily, assist them in understanding the loss of trust, the anxiety, the fear, the rollercoaster of psychological changes they will be going through for the next weeks, months, year—the advocate immediately does the One Thing assault survivors do not want—they go tell someone. They take control away from the person who was intimately, deeply violated. They take control away just like the rapist did, and unlike the rapist,-- who often says, “if you tell anyone I will hurt you, your family, your reputation, kill your dog…” – unlike the rapist, the Advocate makes the rape known. Administrators will now interview those involved.
2. Besides taking control away from the crime victim, and making the humiliating situation known to others—two points that every single person who has ever worked with assault victims knows is anathema—the advocate has also lost the one most precious gift given to traumatized persons. The office of the Advocate is most valuable to rape victims because it is a safe place, where one is not told what to do. For many, it is the ONLY place and the ONLY person who is not “telling me what to do”.
Advocates do not investigate or pressure; they do not judge or make assumptions. (There are families that are abusive or non-supportive and judgmental and blaming. There are even police departments and hospital staff that are non-supportive as well.) Advocates are trained to do one thing—give power back to a hurt person through respect, belief, listening, and referral.
I have a lot more topics around this issue to work though. I just want to begin to put on paper (ether?) some of the points as they arise. i will return to discuss the whole concept and trauma-after-reporting soon. I know we want to make campus safer. I know we want to make reporting the norm. I know we have a duty to warn people about dangerous people. We must make sure we do it in a compassionate, logical, safe way.
By the way, in the past year i have worked with students who were told by police detectives, "Are you sure you don't want to drop charges? why do you want to ruin his life?"
-were told by police, "You know, you have to understand where i'm coming from. i work with women who lie about this all the time." Were asked, How do you know you were raped ifyou were passed out?
Fu'Cryin' Out LOUD.
More HERE and HERE
So across the country, offices that have been providing Advocacy Services for rape victims have been turned on their heads.
1. If a rape is committed on campus, and the crime victim goes to the Advocacy Office, the Advocate MUST report the rape TO BE INVESTIGATED. So rather than first assist the traumatized crime victim with getting some class leeway, a couple days off, helping her/him go to the hospital, explore possibilities of having contracted syphilis, gonorrhea, genital warts, herpes, and AIDS, testing for pregnancy, explain options about reporting to police, and primarily, assist them in understanding the loss of trust, the anxiety, the fear, the rollercoaster of psychological changes they will be going through for the next weeks, months, year—the advocate immediately does the One Thing assault survivors do not want—they go tell someone. They take control away from the person who was intimately, deeply violated. They take control away just like the rapist did, and unlike the rapist,-- who often says, “if you tell anyone I will hurt you, your family, your reputation, kill your dog…” – unlike the rapist, the Advocate makes the rape known. Administrators will now interview those involved.
(I will describe the possible benefit in this later)
2. Besides taking control away from the crime victim, and making the humiliating situation known to others—two points that every single person who has ever worked with assault victims knows is anathema—the advocate has also lost the one most precious gift given to traumatized persons. The office of the Advocate is most valuable to rape victims because it is a safe place, where one is not told what to do. For many, it is the ONLY place and the ONLY person who is not “telling me what to do”.
Listen to understand, not to respond.
The most common comments about advocacy are about its unique sense of safety.
· “It was the one place I could go talk and know that I was safe.”
· “Nothing was going to happen, no one was going to force me to do something I didn’t want to do. “
· “I was completely respected and believed.”
· It was like a time-out from every other place.”
· “The Advocate recognized that no one knew me and my current life situation better than me. There is no one right decision or path….”
I have a lot more topics around this issue to work though. I just want to begin to put on paper (ether?) some of the points as they arise. i will return to discuss the whole concept and trauma-after-reporting soon. I know we want to make campus safer. I know we want to make reporting the norm. I know we have a duty to warn people about dangerous people. We must make sure we do it in a compassionate, logical, safe way.
By the way, in the past year i have worked with students who were told by police detectives, "Are you sure you don't want to drop charges? why do you want to ruin his life?"
-were told by police, "You know, you have to understand where i'm coming from. i work with women who lie about this all the time." Were asked, How do you know you were raped ifyou were passed out?
Fu'Cryin' Out LOUD.
More HERE and HERE
