Riding a Band of Horses to Peggy Funk's Funeral

Goodbye, Peggy Funk. Goodbye, Good Dog.

 Peggy Funk Memorial Sunset in Paxico click to enlarge

Beautiful Kansas Prairie Woman Peggy Funk passed away this weekend.

Sadly, stunningly, it appears that the proximate cause

 may be simply Not Good medical care.

Like, doctor(s) who will not PAY ATTENTION

 to the patient and their wisdom of their OWN BODIES.

I guess there are many ultimate causes/routes and odd paths to paradise.

Will post when i find out more.

Som pictures of Peggy from last fall below and at end of post.

Last October 2010--

a party was had on deep creek road. after, at my house, some pics were taken; there was a strange formation in the sky. This is the last time Peggy was near Manhattan, i guess.

(Odd Path to Paradise)

band of horses funeral
I'm coming up only to hold you under I'm coming up only to show you wrong And to know you is hard; we wonder To know you all wrong; we warn. Really too late to call, So we wait for morning to wake you That's all we got And to know me as hardly golden Is to know me all wrong, they warn. At every occasion, I'll be ready for the funeral At every occasion, once more, is called the funeral Every occasion, know I'm ready for the funeral At every occasion, oh, one million day funeral I'm coming up only to show you down, For I'm coming up only to show you wrong.
 To the outside: the dead leaves, they're on the lawn For they don't have trees to hang their own.     Death      life and Death     Death and Life

Godspeed Peggy.

The work is over. My tiny Thank You for tending the Prairie and the Flint Hills.

more here

perspective changes everything

 Peggy Just got Freed up!

Patti smith horses Birdland

His father died and left him a little farm in New England. All the long black funeral cars left the scene And the boy was just standing there alone Looking at the shiny red tractor  Him and his daddy used to sit inside  And circle the blue fields and grease the night.  It was if someone had spread butter on all the fine points of the stars  'Cause when he looked up they started to slip.  Then he put his head in the crux of his arm  And he started to drift, drift to the belly of a ship,

Let the ship slide open, and he went inside of it  And saw his daddy 'hind the control board streamin' beads of light, He saw his daddy 'hind the control board, 

And he was very different tonight....

patti smith Horses.

...Oh, I couldn't hear them before, but I hear 'em now,
It's a radar scope in all silver and all platinum lights

Moving in like black ships, they were moving in, streams of them,
And he put up his hands and he said, It's me, it's me,
I'll give you my eyes, take me up, oh now please take me up,
I'm helium raven waitin' for you, please take me up,
Don't leave me here! The son, the sign, the cross,
Like the shape of a tortured woman, the true shape of a tortured woman,
The mother standing in the doorway letting her sons
No longer presidents but prophets
They're all dreaming they're gonna bear the prophet,
He's gonna run through the fields dreaming in animation
It's all gonna split his skull It's gonna come out like a black bouquet shining
Like a fist that's gonna shoot them up
Like light, like Mohammed Boxer Take them up up up up up up  Oh, let's go up, up, take me up, I'll go up,
...

Well, there was sand, there were tiles,

The sun had melted the sand and it coagulated
Like a river of glass
When it hardened he looked at the surface
He saw his face
And where there were eyes were just two white opals, two white opals,
Where there were eyes there were just two white opals
And he looked up and the rays shot
And he saw raven comin' in
And he crawled on his back and he went up
Up up up up up up

 click on pictures to enlarge.

take me home.

two pics from tammy s:

Memorial service in paxico next week-- November 17th?
no, saturday night.

Two Funerals (Again)

"Now listen-- you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.
What is your life? You are a mist that appears for little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag...."
A guy named James said that. (Don't know his last name).
Steve jobs said, “Remember to live life as if every day were your last. One day, you will be right”--

Charlotte Perkins Gilmore said, "Eternity is not something that begins after you are dead. It is going on all the time. You're living in it now. 

The question one must ask is, what is the core set
of reality/beliefs/truth
underneath your daily actions and plans?

Today i went to a funeral for the husband of an old friend. He was a man spoken of with great respect. He was an extremely honorable man, a humble man, a man whose work and family life was infused with integrity and thoughtfulness. My tears were brought on by the thought of this phrase: "Well done, good and faithful servant." For some reason, the bittersweet moment of those words, of transparent truth, made my heart swell for a humble man, a man who made his wife happy. In the end, the truth is known.
In the end, the light from a thousand little sacrifices and tenthousand burdens borne and gifts given and challenges met together form a Luminous Grace that envelops us--as we pattern ourselves after Love, Love then beckons to us and appears as heaven.
I think it was alan watts who said that to those who do evil, Love appears as Hell. Catherine of Siena i think said that when Love is Everywhere, no escape, for those who love it is heaven and for those who hate it is hell... Who fears the light?

Th other funeral was for a Friend who appeared to die too young, as if we know when the right time is. He too left a legacy of folks who spoke highly of him, as a joyful character, a truly nice person and one who made others feel happy as well. He seemed to know, as steve jobs mentioned, "Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. ... Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. " He had many great strengths and skills that he did not show off, but again, was simple in his daily gift of living, giving to others.
 
It is interesting to ponder that You --whoever you are-- came into being at a certain time and you will leave a certain time. You don't know what was before and you don't know what is coming, do you?

what are the contrails of your life?

If you have never been close to death, if you have not almost died, you should try it.
It is a great gift to prepare for death, whether SUDDENLY or with a week  or four to prepare.
Unless you've decided
we are all just flotsam and jetsom, molecules accidentally knocking about
and no such thing as "sacred" or "divine" forget mysterious or mystical or afterlife of soul or self. In which case you may have a noninterference clause and you might just live and let live, live a rich life of good cheese and wine, screw somalia and wall street, there will be no memory, no consequense, no future no past, and if all is ground up matter dissipating with no heart who is there to care anyway?

(If you can't change your mind

how do you know it works?)

Here is a story about death from a Taxi Cab Driver.

and one of a soldier:
http://marysbeagooddogblog.blogspot.com/2011/05/death-of-british-soldier-and-bomb.html

our interconnectedness
http://marysbeagooddogblog.blogspot.com/2011/04/our-lives-are-entwined-mouse-story.html

and isn't the truth that nothing really matters regarding our work and interactions but how well we love?

Mystic:
http://marysbeagooddogblog.blogspot.com/2010/04/women-in-love-anticipation-and.html

the question is why care

How is your Saturday going?

Ponder Your Death, the Contrails of Life; Steve Jobs on Time Magazine and the Story of a Turtle

What will be the contrails of your life? Steve Jobs pondered his Upcoming Death, a task not one of us should ignore, would there be any wisdom or growth in us--

He specifically
nodded to us the wisdom of considering our common destination of death- as inspiration.
The quote is from a commencement address
at Stanford in 2005, which you can read
or watch in its  entirety here

Steve Jobs said, "No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent.

Split-face emotions research at bottom of post

It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

The contrails of your own

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. ... Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. "

A Something from yesterday.

Let me tell you the story

of the turtle.

It started yesterday on a busy 5 lane.

click pics to enlarge

Have you heard of Tuttle Creek Blvd.?
as i drove down this newly widened highway which was once
Wild ish but now is surrounded by construction, development,
and big trucks carrying chickens

I saw something that was Intelligent Design ish or
Not a piece of trash or
Spectacularly Evolved right in the middle of the road.
I saw a head retract.
The disc-y sphere was putting off a wonderful morning light glow, the light refractions which come off of something living and rich, dense with karmic power and energy. A big turtle (!) and in the way of everyone.
Everyone in giant 3 ton hurtling rollers of metal.
Would the humans, each and every one,
in the silence and disconnectedness of their separate cars figure it out?

“Remember to live life as if every day were your last.
One day, you will be right”

steve jobs from time magazine cover by marco grob

Would the occupants in each car realize
A Stunning Bit of Life was trying to make its way past an impossible obstacle course, (and only to land in a huge parking lot of heavy traffic? ...
All it would take was one little sociopath, one cruel sensation seeker who used the desire for excitement in an aura of evil...
There was no way to stop.
I drove by, slowing down and swerving Largely
to signal to those behind me, Something is HERE! Lookout!
What to do?
 is it possible that i could turn around, go back, and find the turtle alive, get a gap in the traffic, jump out of my truck on the highway, grab the turtle, and take it to the sandy riverside?
Yes,
Violate the Carlos Castenda admonition about the caterpillar?

It is a new age.
Don Juan, This turtle needed a ride, not a philosopher...
So,

I made the attempt. I had a tangible layer spiritual focus as i tried to find a way to make a U-turn, a turn-in, a turn-around. I was thwarted, as they say, at every turn. No entry, no exit.

I finally made it back and begain driving very slowly as i approached the location.

Please!Please let my eyes find what they seek!

Do not let the awful scene appear. What will it mean if The Awful scene appears? How will i rationalize, or score, to help my heart bear it?

There. The bump in the center of the lanes approaching. I drive slow, slower. i hog the left lane. As i arrive, there is no red color, there is no strange shape, or movement either. There is a strange band between my heart and the lane of the highway.

Suddenly, there is no traffic.

No vehicles in sight from either direction. I pull up, throw on the brake and a blinker, jump out, grab the Sweet Prize and jump back in.

Although everything is pulled tightly inside the football-sized shell, everything looks intact!  I drive.

I make it to the river, but no face emerges.

I pick up the sweet thing and touch here and there.

Like a very scared creature, the eyes are shut, the head and limbs respond by withdrawing from my touch.

if i curl into a tiny ball no one can see me,

no one can hurt me?

I am reminded of therapy clients who have been so hurt and maltreated it will take many moons for them to emerge. Because they are normal.

Because they are smart or competent or alive or real.

Because they are sensitive and intelligent, they stay curled up tight for a long time after the Massive Threat, the big betrayal, the

huge violation.

Yes it is passed.

Still the turtle stays inside.

I carry it down to the sandy riverside. The sounds are now the sounds of wasps and river, life and birth, of eternal rhythm. The smell is of milkweed and wet wind.

the lovely turtle

I want to stay, and see the emergence. But after a few minutes i leave the Turtle alone, to its own time and space.

There might have been a small crack in the top shell.

The bottom may have had a thin pink line, a possible injury, or maybe just history? Please be OK. Please just be scared. Please let these be old wounds.

It is the perfect spot, and i leave.

pose for portrait

This morning i went to see.
The turtle was gone.
Evidence of a risen tide, wet sand where there had been dry.
Some movement, water, leaves,
had the turtle become calm, centered and made its way away?
Had the tide shocked it into movement?
I Walk away A sense of joy,
nothing in sight.

and barely noticing the repeated indentations in the sand
 like water washing away soft spots, turtle trails, or

the footsteps of a dozen vultures,  

softened by the gentle tides of the river as the night passed?

softening my interpretation of the disappearance.

She left relieved

with

one particle of discomfort rattling around inside,

wondering which was better between

Life and Rescue and the joy of finding oneself alive and out of danger

one more time

and

or

The Eternal Cycle of Life and

the miraculous changing

from reptile to bird
from birth to death, emerging into a new Space.

Vultures in Light

Two sides of the face of Steve Jobs

Research about the two sides of your face:
right side, public, left side private emotions?

entire article : People Are Really Two-Faced  HERE

excerpt: "...  Portrait painters

 and photographers know only too well that the human face is asymmetrical; wrinkles and eyebrow movements vary, and the smile usually breaks from one side to the other. What is more, each side seems to express a different feeling. This phenomenon can best be shown by first covering one half of the face in a portrait, then the other. 

In most cases, the right side of the subject's face
 (on the viewer's left) appears pleasant or blank; the left side looks worried, fearful or even a bit sinister. The difference is even more pronounced when a composite face made of two left sides is compared with one composed of two right sides.  (i found  examples of this HERE and  HERE and HERE)

... Psychologist Werner Wolff of Columbia University suggested in the 1940s that the right side is the "public" face, and the left the "private," registering emotions that are not intended to be conveyed. Yet this strategy of "hiding" unacceptable emotions on the left side of the face could be effective only if the public side had far more impact on the viewer. Wolff found this to be so; after studying the faces of others, subjects in his experiments noted that the right side of the face looked more like the whole face than the left side did. But Wolff could not explain why.

Now a team of psychologists thinks it has the answer....

...when two people stand face to face, the right eye of one studies the left side of the face of the other. The right eye, in turn, is controlled by the left hemisphere of the brain, the half that is less deft at reading images. Thus people may unconsciously mislead one another by presenting a confident or blank public expression on the right side of the face, where it has a strong effect, and by "hiding" strong emotions on the poorly perceived left side.

more research HERE

In the course of the studies, Sackeim's team found that negative emotions registered heavily on the left side, but positive emotions spread more evenly across the entire face. Says Sackeim: "We believe the two sides of the face are differently involved in experiencing happy and unhappy states." Other researchers have reported "small correlations" between emotional illness and a high degree of facial asymmetry. Sackeim is currently studying these results. "Why should people with greater facial asymmetry report more neurotic symptoms?" he asks. "We don't understand the connection."

Sackeim's interpretation of the evidence is that the emotional left side of the face may have evolved to convey a clear message about feelings—the facial expression is more strongly drawn to compensate for the poor ability of the left brain to read faces. Sackeim's research has also convinced him that the brain's right hemisphere is more heavily involved in expressing emotions than the left. What does it all boil down to, in practical terms? When in doubt about anyone's feelings, just study the left side of the person's face with your left eye.

and we all make our way.