I know, It's still quite early to be putting up this post. But I was reading Singapore's Female Magazine from two years ago about what not to do during their National Day Parade and found that It was quite funny! So since I'm a Malaysian (and proud to be one!), I've decided to make a list of things that WE, Malaysians, or other Nationalities as well, should not do during our Merdeka Day Parade in Dataran Merdeka or any parts of the cities in Malaysia.
1. Non Stop Talking on the Phone Throughout the parade.
Yes, I know that sometimes during the Prime Minister's Speech or other of the Invited Guest's speech times could get a little bit dull. But it doesn't mean one could jabber away on the phone throughout the whole parade! What if there was a film crew nearby and they caught you talking on your phone endlessly while the minister is giving his speech! Someone will be in trouble if that happens!
2. Set 500 Birds Free during the Flypast.
Doesn't mean when there are Malaysian Jets flying past the parade you have the rights to set 500 birds free! Yes, It is one of our Asian Customs which claims that if one sets a bird free, then good luck will come! But c'mon! It's Merdeka! Don't go setting those birds free charging it to your Mastercard screaming, "MORE BIRDS MORE LUCK MAAAA!"
3. Run across the field while the Prime Minister's car is passing by.
Well, if this does happen, be prepared to be shot by the armed forces! Don't be an idiot and streak across the street when our Prime Minister is being driven past us! Only an idiot would commit something like that! And don't ever use the excuse that you love him so much you want to get close to him!
4. Turn up in that Red Mini Louis Vuitton Dress and your Killer Gucci Platform Heels.
I know I would always advice you to look sexy and hot wherever you are but during the Merdeka day parade, turning up in your Killer Heels and your Little LV dress is just plain wrong! You can look good doing so but this is just desperate! And plus, it's super hot in Malaysia man! If you do think of doing it please do bring a deodorant along in case of B.O issues!
5. Get your maid to shade you with a Parasol and Fan you with a Banana Leaf.
You do pay your maid to help you make your life easier. But having her shade you and fan you with a Banana leaf is just too much! What are you? A queen?!
6. Arrive early in the afternoon, spread out a beach towel, and sun tan in your skimpy bikini.
If you were to do something like this I won't be surprised if you ended up on live television! First the crew will film you tanning yourself, next they will film a group of Muslim Conservatives running to you with their Knives trying to slice your throat for utter disrespect!
7. Wave the British flag and scream, "LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!"
We may have been under British rule like 52 years ago, but waving that British flag and screaming "Long Live the Queen!" is just wrong! Next thing you know you will be deported from Malaysia and thrown into England. Hey, that doesn't sound that bad right?
8. But a can of Snow Spray or a 2500 pressured water gun and start targeting the audience.
This isn't Christmas or New Years! It is already annoying enough that people around Kuala Lumpur start spraying those stupid cans of Snow to all the By Passers during these holidays, but doing it during Merdeka day would just put you at risk for being beaten to death by angry locals like me!
9. Harass those around you for their Goodie Bags.
During Merdeka day, many people will get goodie bags from Rtm or Tv3. It doesn't mean if you don't get one or if you want more of it gives you the right to start Harassing people for their goodie bags! Leave those little kids alone! The free gifts aren't that nice anyways!
10. Stalk the film crew and strike a slutty pose each time the camera is turned onto the audience.
Honestly I would do something like that! I also can imagine some of my friends doing it. But it is just wrong to actually commit something like that! Well, if you are really gorgeous or fabulous or crave attention, like i said before, just take than skimpy bikini and run across the street! The camera will be focused on you for sure!
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