So I've been hanging out with my ex recently. It's very nice of him to take some time off from his busy schedule. I do think about him constantly and wish that we could get back together, but last night something funny happened.
I invited him over with a few friends. And we had a little get together. It was fun, he seemed to have enjoyed himself listening to the fags bitch about other fags and I felt happy that he was actually smiling. His Job was really taking a toll on him.
So after the party, it was only me and him. On my bed. We were chatting. It felt weird, awkward. He was lying on one side and me on the other. It seemed like there was an invisible wall between us. I wanted to hug him and I can feel that he wanted to do the same as well. We chatted about random things, trying to drag the time and getting closer and closer to each other.
But still, there was that invisible wall.
He then leaned over and hugged me, whispered in my ears, "I'm still not over you.". It felt nice hearing it. But somehow it doesn't feel the same anymore. I thought that I would get that whole electrifying feeling when he hugged me, but I didn't. I kissed him. But it somehow didn't feel like how it used to feel. I felt weird.
My friends told me that maybe I was gonna move on. But the thing is, I still in a way want to hang on to him. But why don't I feel the same way when I touch him, hug him or kiss him?
Isn't it Ironic?
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