Sounds like an Apocalypse!

This is a political blog, not a Weird Shit blog. But the political realm -- and life in general -- has left me feeling awfully bleak and blue in recent weeks. So let's welcome some good news: The Apocalypse is nigh!

At least, such is the purport of a mysterious set of videos popping up all over YouTube. These clips document a worldwide phenomenon -- strange, loud, unearthly sounds that have been heard in various locations around the world. A flurry of "unidentified auditory phenomenon" reports came pouring in from all over the world on January 12, 2012, and again on January 17. Near as I can tell, the first wave of videos documenting these sounds showed up in March of 2011, with another outburst in August of 2011.

I know what you're thinking: How do we know that these videos do not constitute a massive con job? Faking up a presentation of this sort would be child's play. Perhaps we are witnessing a viral, global leg-pull.

My response: Dude, you're harshing my buzz. I prefer to think that the Apocalypse is nigh.

On occasion, teevee news has reported on the incidents -- for example, ITN. So has the Huffington Post. Also see here and here. And here. As you'll see, at least one sports broadcast has been interrupted by these audio events.

At this point, I can offer no explanation. Can't even provide you with one of my characteristically outre theories. (Some folks are talking HAARP. Boring! There are people who blame HAARP if a cat coughs up a fur ball.) All you can do is check out the vids and come to your own conclusions.

This one comes from the Czech Republic:



Here's Conklin, Alberta, Canada. This is, perhaps, the most popular of the videos, even though it is almost certainly fake:



Costa Rica coming up. This one is more musical, more David Lynchian...



More on the Costa Rica sitch. Translation, anyone?



Helsinki, Finland, January 17, 2012 (sounding a bit too Hollywood, alas):



Same date, Boulder, CO:



Same date, same sound, Nottingham, England:



Same date, Thunder Bay:



Same date, NYC. Subtle, but cute:



Same date, Philly. Alas, this one sounds quite dubious, like a music track slowed down:



Badajoz, Spain, January 18, 2012:



Belgium, January 19, 2012:



Apparently, something similar occurred worldwide in September of 2011. For some reason, this interesting compilation segues into a commercial for a truly hideous product:



Same damned thing occurred in the south of France (always an epicenter for weirdness) in March of 2011. Here, as elsewhere, the sound resembles the noise emitted by the tripods in the Spielberg version of War of the Worlds:



At the same time France got hit, this occurred in New Jersey:



Poland, August, 2011. This one sounds cool, but methinks I hear indications of Adobe Audition at work...



Take me out to the ball game...





Kiev, in the Ukraine. August, 2011. A news report, in a language I do not understand...



Same time period, St. Petersburg, Florida (this one is subtle)...



Moscow, also in August...



Sweden, again in August...



Unspecified date and locale. But the audio is, like, totally cool.



There are many more such videos on YouTube. Let me say it again: Yes, I know that such presentations are easy to fake. I could do a damned good job of it myself in little more than an hour. But right now, I prefer to ignore your bah-humbuggery, so pooh your poohs elsewhere. In my present mood, just about the only thing that could cheer me up is a really top notch Armageddon.

And popcorn. And beer.

(Wait a minute...! If the world does end in 2012, we'll never find out how Sherlock did what he did at the end of season 2!)