God's candidates.

You know what pisses me off about some of these powerful Christians here in A-merry-ca? The fact that they have all this access to the big gal and they won't share it with the rest of us.

"Christian leader Pat Robertson is claiming that God gave him insight regarding who America’s next president will be. But the conservative media mogul isn’t willing to name names.

'I think He showed me about the next president, but I‘m not supposed to talk about that so I’ll leave you in the dark — probably just as well — but I think I know who it’s gonna be,” Robertson said on Tuesday‘s episode of the Christian Broadcast Network’s “700 Club.'

Aside from making this proclamation, he went on to read the message, word-for-word, that he claims to have heard directly from God. Here it is, in full:

Your country will be torn apart by internal stress. A house divided cannot stand. Your president holds a radical view of the direction of your country which is at odds with the majority. Expect chaos and paralysis. Your president holds a view which is at the odds with the majority — it’s a radical view of the future of this country, and so that‘s why we’re having this division. This is a spiritual battle which can only be won by overwhelming prayer. The future of the world is at stake because if America falls, there’s no longer a strong champion of freedom and a champion of the oppressed of the world. There must be an urgent call to prayer." [Source]

 

At least Pat is sharing God's thoughts with the rest of us. Pat must be a good guy. Can you imagine what some of us would do with that type of power?
"Pssst..., God, sorry to bug you again, but could you give me the numbers to that Powerball ticket?".

So anyway, the guys who I am sure that "God" would like to see in the White House are really going at it these days.

Ron Paul called Newt a "chicken hawk", Newt called Flipper a liar, and Flipper called Newt an abortion supporter. (Definitely a no no for a God candidate.)

Finally, it's time to say goodbye to Michele Bachmann. She gave it the old wingnut try, but, in the end, it just wasn't enough.

Sarah, it might be time to show off that new hairdo. The Tea Party needs you.