Sunday, August 31, 2008


Elliott was bone to Silvia and Tom Davies in 1892. He was an only child and had every thing a little boy could dream of having.

Tom was a successful lawyer and Sylvia an artist. They had a beautiful mansion with acreage in the country in England.

The only problem with this perfect life was that Tom like the bottle a little too much.

After a very long and stressful murder trial that he lost, he began a binge of drinking.

Sylvia wanting to shelter Elliott from this ugly side of his father decided to take him to his grandmothers for a few week and packed up the horse and buggy for the journey and they started the two day trip.

the weather was rainy and the roads were wet and slippery. Out of the woods came a pack a wolves and spooked the horses sending them into a tizzy. As the horses ran wild with fear the carriage tipped off the side of the road rolling over and over and landing in the ditch up side down. It was not until the following morning that they were discovered and by then Sylvia had passed due to her head injuries and Elliott lost his leg from being trapped under the buggy.

The news of the accident hit Tom like a ton of bricks and he hit the bottle even harder.

He could not look at Elliott with out seeing Sylvia and this broke his heart.

Sylvia's mother knew this was not a good place for Elliott to be and came to collect him to live with her. She was in her eighty year and in poor health herself, with in the year she passed on as well and Elliott was left homeless and awarded to the courts.

Due to his disability it was impossible to place him in a permanent home and the older her got the harder it became so off to MRSBO's he went where all the other unwanted children go.


Nora and Squee

This is Nora and Squee. Nora is about 10" tall and is sculpted using prosculpt. She has a posable body and arms. Her little friend is a "duck" on wheels.

Yippee I have a blog!!

Well after wondering forever what a blog was, I know now and

I have one. I am pretty excited about it.

This will be a place where I will post my work in progress and my finished dolls.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

OMG Mike totally proposed to me!!

Ok la, I was exaggerating.

What happened was that one day I had this conversation with Mike:

Me: "Why won't you marry me?!"

Mike: "We are as good as married."

Me: "No!"

Mike: "Why no? We are living together, seeing each other everyday... "

Me: "I wanna you to marry me!!!!"

Mike: "But we are as good as married! There is no difference."

Me: "Ok lor in that case I shall tell everyone we are engaged."

Mike, laughs: "You do that."

The first step nowadays to being engaged is to be facebook-engaged!!

Therefore, this morning when I was very bored, I logged onto his facebook account and.... totally proposed to myself.

I know... It is infinitely loserish but it is still damn shiok!! Those of you who have not been facebook engaged/married before should try it!!! AHAHAHA!!

Omg I got a relationship status request!! Got heart shape somemore!!

Mike totally wants me to add him as my fiance!!

I am touched beyond words!! Yes my love, I accept!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sobs uncontrollably*



*hops around the room showing off non-existent 2 carat Diamond ring to everyone*

I know!! He loves me so much!! I am so blessed!!

*wipes away tears*

OK... That was really fun, even though it is a self-directed love story/comedy.

On a sidenote ah, I was told that an engagement ring is the one with the big diamond, and the wedding ring is normally just a simple band.

Then, after being married, girls wear the wedding ring daily, and the expensive engagement ring is then safely kept in a box.


If Mike spends $10k on my engagement ring and $3k on my wedding ring, then obviously I wanna wear the $10k shit everyday right? Why would I keep it in a bloody box?

That's just stupid man. It doesn't make sense.

I mean, it does make sense for most girls lah since they have to work and their rings can't be too bling anyway, blah blah... But whatever!

I want my wedding ring to be fucking ostentatious!!!

Please don't talk to me about how less is more hor!! That doesn't even make sense. More is more please! Duh!!!

Talk somemore I scratch your face with my humongous diamond ah!

So anyway, I have thus concluded that my engagement ring should be the simple one (I think maybe a row of smaller diamonds... ahem... for my more toned-down days) and the wedding ring shall be like...

Wait wait wait... I shall google!!


Here's my engagement ring:

In my process of googling for rings, I have decided that 3 rows of diamonds is infinitely better than just 1 row

Correct what... You compare!!

Kua kua... See? 3 rows of diamonds. Nice. Ahem. So much for toned down days.

So anyway, as for the wedding ring, I am inspired by this science teacher I used to have in River Valley. She's very pretty!!

And since I am so short and so talkative/naughty, I am inevitably placed in the front row of classroom seats.

In fact, I am not only in the front row, I am right in the middle, just beside the bloody OHP projector.

Everytime this teacher uses that contraption, her wedding ring REALLY sparkles underneath the intense light as she uses the hands to arrange her transparencies.

Bling bling bling... I spent hours getting distracted by her chioness ring!!

And her ring is a single humongous (or so it seemed to me at that time) solitaire diamond one.

Not 4 clasps:


Not 6 clasps:


But the magical number of 5.

I don't know... I guess its a small detail, but to me it's quite important coz I really do think it's much chioer this way!

Hahahaha!! Talk so much, skarly nobody even wants to marry me lor!!

Wait, why is this one so chio?

Pink diamond leh!! Are real pink diamonds even purchasable in Singapore???

p/s: We are not really engaged. I'm just being boh liao.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

being a tiger

If only I hadn't spent £150 ($325... ouch) on a ticket to Reading Festival 2009 last night, perhaps I could afford a pair of these H.P. Lovecraft NYC shoes I've been lusting after...


With a landscape of already so many live bootleg CDs the sad event of Kurt Cobain committing suicide suddenly sent fans into frenzy foraging for more product than ever. With both a live video and MTV Unplugged album released, eventually at the end of summer 1996 this seventeen track live compilation was culled together by the remaining members of the band with a fresh set of footnotes from Krist Novoselic.
It begins with an intro of the band soundchecking. Even their soundchecks were fucking awesome it would seem. Truly this is a funny state of affairs but also in many ways it does reflect them band’s appeal at its most visceral.
From here the album tears into a swirling version of “School” that does not disappointment as it wonderfully hangs in the air prior to crashing through in joyfully incendiary manner. The track is culled from a November 1991 performance recorded at the Paradiso in Amsterdam which supplies four of the tracks present on this album. This set was actually released in its apparent entirety on a bootleg entitled On Stage In Europe.
The running order of the compilation actually proves pretty close to the setlist sequence of the band at the height of hype and mania. Early run outs of “Drain You” and “Aneurysm” run pretty much in the position they would have on any given night proving powerful and zippy introductions to the band and their wares. Both always proved particularly powerful in a live setting when compared to their studio equivalent. These songs always packed ten times the punch of anyone around them.
Obviously “Smells Like Teen Spirit” is present and during its opening the audience can be heard screaming. Its not quite the “In Bloom” video but it is screaming all the same, something record labels would have to pay millions to create with the only difference being that this is genuine and honest, true and fair that later again returns during a quiet moment on the second verse. This was a song that the band would come to eventually despise and subsequently ruin live on purpose but the performance here is the band firing on all cylinders and delivering a devastating blow.
Elsewhere the record delivers “Lithium”, “Heart-Shaped Box” and “Sliver” as a supply of career covering inclusion of singles. Indeed “Heart-Shaped Box” proves another track that inducing screams from the crowd.
Then Kurt drawls his way through “Spank Thru” before succumbing to the reality that it takes more than his messing around to ruin such a decent tune.
Unsurprisingly it is the version of “Scentless Apprentice” that provides the hardest hitting moment as the power chords benefited from the extra live guitar via Pat Smear as the Zeppelin “Immigrant Song” like drums pound the track into another dimension. This version is the one from the MTV New Years Eve broadcast in 1993 recorded in Seattle which remains one of the greatest video recordings of the band. Then two tracks later “Milk It” dishes out a similar set of dynamics as Kurt sports more silly vocals on the verses before christening the chorus.
The version of “Negative Creep” present here is towering artefact that displays how the new band dealt with and often improved the older material as they came into their own with lashings of reluctant fame and popularity.
Not quite the “(New Wave) Polly” as featured on Incesticide, the live version of “Polly” present here is a chugging and natural continuation of the track dragging it into the fully amplified live setting. With the additional noise comes increased volume in Kurt’s vocals as the song retains meaning now geared with more anger.
Storming to the finish a relentless take on “Breed” tears through prior to their famous debut of “Tourettes” at Reading 92 where jokingly they introduced the song as “The Eagle Has Landed”. Just like “Freebird” only without the flab and rednecks.
The record closes in much the same manner as many sets of the period with “Blew” as a voice rings “thank you for your patience” and the song serves as something of a farewell wave to the crowd as the guitars whistle in a panicked fashion as their eventual demise would appear nigh. For some reason the song just sounds like the closing theme tune now with hindsight. And with that, it is over.
An additional bonus is to be found on the fourth side of the double vinyl LP version of this record where various gig outtakes and stage banter play out that serve to make the band sound catty as they dealt with the various elements of a baying and occasionally hostile crowd/audience. Not a moment that has garnered major fanfare for the band but definitely worth a listen.
I fucked up and never saw Nirvana live. We were going to go to the Brixton Academy shows in early 1994 with Sebadoh and The Raincoats supporting but for obvious reasons they didn’t go ahead and forever I had missed out. I once saw Nearvana and despite being bricklayers by profession their set was great. These are songs that are almost impossible to wreck or ruin.
Not many of my CDs have cracks in their cases from overuse but this is one such example.
Thesaurus moment: sturdy.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Problem solved!!

My blog is now virus-free again!!

Thanks to Roy who helped me. The file was was infected was my blogger.gif file... Kuakua... All I did was to delete it.

My blog readers are awesome!

Help help help why like this?!


I already removed all links to awfulplasticsurgery!! What else can I do?


P/s: Erm hello? I don't think some of you understand. It is not ME who has the virus, it is that my blog is spreading a trojan! What has scanning my computer got to do with it? I already did and my computer is A-ok!

All I know is that the trojan's name is giframe, and it is spreading itself through a file called blogger[1].gif, if I am not wrong.

Also, I probably got it coz I linked to, which is also spreading trojans. I removed the links but the trojan is still there.

This is fucking annoying!!

$100 to the first person to SUCCESSFULLY help me solve this problem!!! (Saying vague things like "try republishing your posts?" does not count.)

Please email me at if you are some incredibly smart IT geek, thanks!!

UPDATE: Solved! I think! If you are still getting the trojan, please let me know.

Monday, August 25, 2008

New vids again!!


I am so busy!!

My freaking computer crashed AGAIN. I think I got some shitass virus, and I honestly can't be arsed to try and fix it so I just formatted it lor.

Gah! Can you believe my luck? This must be the, I dunno, umpteenth time this year. HATE! (Thank god I don't have any saucy chatlogs with male celebrities otherwise lost how? Just kidding... I've got not 1 but 2 portable hard drives!!! I am that Kiasu!!)

So anyway, I swear I'm coming up with the bestest blog entry ever!! But it is not done yet, so just wait for a bit yeah?

Meanwhile I have an advertorial to finish too, and Indulgz also invited me for round 4 of food tasting so I am very excited!! Woohoo!!

And hor, just to clarify, I DID NOT send Plastic's pictures to awfulplasticsurgery hor, thanks.

Just so happens that the day before her pictures were posted up, I also linked that website!! Got more suay or not you tell me?!?!?!

I swear I didn't know what the webmaster was going to post, ok! Sompah!


Maybe I am a prophet? YOU THINK? I could be!! Ok, I predict tomorrow's weather will be rainy again. Let's see if I really have propheting skills.

WTF man... If I were the one sending in the pictures you can be certain those won't be my descriptive words! (Coz I certainly don't think she is prettier now...)

So anyway, new videos!!


Bff auditions round 2!

See the contestants in the flesh!
I love them all :D


The Quiz Challenge

Is KK or Paul smarter?
Paul displays his skill at naming planets.


Sleazy Aerobics

I'd love my gym teacher to be this amusing!!

Click to watch all!!

Btw, please do not insult the bff contestants in the comments, thanks. :)


p/s: Is there some sort of virus on my blog?? GASP! How the hell do I remove it?! And how did I get it?!

p/p/s: I think it has to do with awfulplasticsurgery la!! My comp was saying it is an attack site and I still went to it... Nabeh then tio virus!!! I removed all links to that site already, so it shouldn't be a problem now. Please let me know if you know anything, or if the virus is still around!!

p/p/p/s: I am SO SORRY if you kena virus from my blog!! Remember to always back up your stuff and please don't install any weird files with weird extensions ok!!!

Sunday, August 24, 2008



One of the strongest electronic beep records you will ever hear, the new record from Elite Barbarian achieves a certain kind of ambience ordinarily/usually harboured by the most strung out and sensitive of electronic acts without using such barbed sonics.

Tickling like the insides of a ZX Spectrum and playing out like the soundtrack of several Atari 2600 games; over the course of 58 minutes the album takes the listener on a journey of unexplored confines electronic beats/beeps often coupled with crazed sick piano licks.

The author of the album is Ben Page who as a member of both Rothko and Rocket No.9 is a seasoned and accomplished composer of modern ambient extracts often emerging from improvisation and instinctive desires and trajectories.

The real strength of this record is the manner in which it achieves being both relentless and relaxed at the same time, tempered and tenacious in its brute meditation. As the atmospherics grow so does the intensity as sonic layers reminiscent of raindrops, pulses and bubbling machinery scour your consciousness almost feeling transient as it interrupts the flow of your immediate activities.

Listened to as a whole the album merges into one great body of work not strictly to be swallowed whole but to accompany any mindset or duty that requires a holding hand to assist concentration and clarity.

By the time it reaches the 16 minute climax “Let’s Go Back To Morse Code” you sense you are coming to the end of being subjected to some kind of subliminal intake and that it is actually quite possible that the beeps could well be pieced together Joe Bonham style to forge together some kind of alien message. You’re unlikely to hear this record at parties, only funerals.

Thesaurus moment: static.

Elite Barbarian
Front And Follow

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Good stuff

Thanks for the nice emails and comments you guys left. It's great. I didn't know so many people went through similar plights too!

The good thing is, now T's my friend again.

And some other good news!!

Tadah! Passed my advanced!

I was in a damn glum mood travelling there. When I reached, I paid money to the cabbie and said to myself, "Ok, I go take the test already..."

He turned around, smiled at me and told me good luck, so that really cheered me up. How come ah? It's so nice when strangers are nice to you.

I had about 5 or so questions I wasn't sure of, so I anyhowly ti-kum lor. And passed!!

It's so great... Now the tests are computerized so you will know your results immediately!

Yup yup!!

I booked my practical test too. It will be on the 5th of December!! If I pass it, I will be able to drive in USA (flying 10th of Dec)!! Excitedness!! Then I won't have to keep asking a reluctant Mike to drive me to the mall!!!!!! OMG!!

Here's my PDL

Too bad it ends on 11th of Nov. I guess I'd have to renew it.

Manual or Auto??

I booked for an auto test, coz I'm like pretty sure I'll fail the manual... But Mike drives a manual car so even if I pass the auto I can't drive his car!!!!!!

Decisions decisions!

Me driving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The image is fucking hilarious. I'm so short I expect I will have to sit on several tall cushions. Oei! Stop laughing hor!!

Also... also...

ZHNG-ed MY SIDEKICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally the little fucker works!!

My code arrived!!! I paid $92 for someone to unlock it on eBay! :(

The amount of money I spent on this phone........ Le sigh...

But it's worth it!!

It is as heavy as a brick and has zero functions - the camera sucks big time, the internet functions cannot be used, and the battery life is tragic (1 day)...

But... Everyone is still very impressed by the swivel screen! Plus it's designed by JUICY COUTURE, so no complains!

I know... You are waiting with baited breath......


With flash...

I am so sorry the photos really cannot manage to capture the real chioness of it.

The crystals are not dark pink like that. And the colour I used for zhnging was Light Rose AB.

AB crystals are fucking chio la! It's like this iridescent coating on top of the crystals that make them sorta multi-coloured...

Without flash.

I guess this is the most accurate portrayal of the correct colour, but without flash you cannot see how sparkly it really is. Plus the pic is blur...

The phone is decorated with baby pink pearls and about 7 different sizes of light rose AB crystals.

With flash


The left side of the picture shows how it's like in real life.

I'm waiting for the a new batch of crystals to come from!! When they do, I'm gonna zhng the back of the phone too. Bling bling!!

Paul and Kaykay... I was there when they were filming their Singing Challenge. That's donkey years ago can?!

AND FINALLY..........

The photos you guys have been requesting for!!


My lip fillers!!

No make-up except for eyelash extensions

These are taken on the first night the fillers were done, so they are still tremendously swollen.

I really really liked them when they were that size! I know most of you will be like, oh, look like duck etc, but I liked it!!!

Unfortunately, Dr Georgia Lee wanted to go light on me since it's my first time, and didn't put so much filler in. After the swell went down, the difference is quite subtle. If I can, I'll go and ask her for a bit more.

DR LEE IS SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Omg I have to rave about her. She's really nice! And when you talk to her, she doesn't care about charges or price... she's more interested to sincerely HELP us girls get prettier.

It's like an art for her, that's why she analyzes your face for you and gives advice on what can be improved, etc.

She gave me around maybe 20 small jabs on the lips. She has like all these little tips and tricks for how to do it so it will have the maximum and best effect!!

I've went with friends to other aesthetic doctors too, but I feel that they don't have that sort of sincerity and passion... They just do whatever they are asked to, and that's it. It is no wonder Dr Lee is the hot favourite among the stars la!!

If you want to do non-invasive work too, you can give her clinic a ring. Her website is HERE.


She's really good!!! I can't stop raving can??

Night out at Rouge

I met with Rozzie and Gillian, together with Rozzie's friends Patricia Mok and Gordon.

On cab there. I dunno what's with the solemn expression.

See, the lips are nice right?? The difference is not that much, but from the side it is more obvious.

Me with Pat.

She's like a more toned down version of herself on TV in real life. Still very funny and expressive, but not so loud. Haha!! I really like her!! And she very vain and gossipy!! Hehe...

And also also!! My smile's not so gummy anymore!

So if you have a gummy smile too... Maybe can give Dr Lee a ring? BTW she never asked me to advertise for her hor. I just like her and her work so much!!

My normal cam mode... Pat adjusted the flash settings, and...


I dunno how she did it lor! Looks like daylight outside.



I love the lips and Dr Georgia Lee!

Omg it rhymes.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

My current want.

Birthday season is coming up. So I'm wondering what I would spend my money on. It's either another trip to Singapore with some shopping, or just having some extra money to use, or buying myself a driving license to name a few. I don't know what I should do to please myself for my 19th birthday!

But there is also this piece of technology that I would want to get. The Motorola Rokr U9! It's so beautiful, and many people won't have this phone,

This phone has the usual basic functions, a two megapixel camera, a loud speaker for music, and also a memory card slot for micro sd cards that can be expanded to 4gb. So, it's basically a standard phone. But I guess I love it. I am thinking though whether or not to get it because it seems like my driving license is more important. If I get my driver's license, i would be able to drive my car down. So maybe this will have to wait? I hope I can get both though:)

The transformation from Fat, to skinny.

I don't really do this but I wanna boast about my younger beautiful sister miss Kristine Kim Tanggau who is single and available. But before doing so here's a beautiful picture of her!
She is currently 15 years old and is going to turn 16 on November 8th. She is a scorpio and born on the year of the monkey. She is a vegetarian but she eats fish. She enjoys shopping and swimming and is also a long distance runner. She has been in a couple of relationships before but it never works out, she is searching for a well off, tall and good looking man/boy.

Isn't she pretty? haha!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Too much drama

Can't sleep.... I've got my advanced driving test today at 1130am, but my mind is so filled with buzzing thoughts I can't really absorb all that shit. Why is it that when you are in a higher gear your engine uses less power?? I don't geddit??

So. Yesterday night I got incredibly vexed.

I wonder if it is true that when you gain friends you will also lose friends, such that your amount of friends will more or less be always equal?

BFF auditions have ended, and I'm down to my final 2 picks, which I have not chosen yet. I like them both a lot, and of course, these are the two new friends I gained.

As for the 2 that I lost... Well, it's a long story. Why not? I'll tell it to you.

I've known Guy X for 4 years, and we've always been close. And then, about 1 year ago, I got to know Girl X. I like her a lot, and the first time I actually met her, I brought Guy X along with me.

They got introduced to each other, hit it off, and started a relationship.

During the course of their year-long relationship, I was very close to the two of them.

One day, Guy X was found cheating on Girl X. Cheating... Had the intention to cheat. Semantics. To me, whether caught in the act or not does not make a difference.

Girl X was devastated.

Time passed after this break up. More drama ensued, as a close friend, let's call him T, told Girl X, with her heavy coaxing, some more dirty secrets of Guy X.

This close friend T was in love with Girl X, and has been for the longest time.

Of course, Guy X is furious with T for betraying his trust, and vowed to seek revenge on him.

Initially after the break up, Girl X told everyone that she will never get back together with Guy X.

Guy X, however, persisted in winning her back as he claims he loves her a lot. He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep... He was at her beck and call, and Girl X is pretty good at mind-fucking him. He was in a horrible state.

I kept my silence for 1 month.

I had found out that Girl X has been telling others that she was merely playing Guy X - manipulating his feelings.

She has moved on to liking other guys, and she made out with that above-mentioned close friend T.

Initially, I gave her the benefit of doubt.

I thought she was in a self-destructive phase because she was so hurt and so sad.

But time passed and nothing changed. Girl X was still flirting with other guys happily. At least, that was my impression. Meanwhile, Guy X knew nothing of what's happening. I wondered if I should tell him.

Well... Guy X managed to coax me to tell him.

Although Girl X was also my friend, I told him what I knew, because he told me he was suffering and he NEEDED a reason to walk away.

He told me he lost 8kg. I felt so sorry for him because when I met him, he was really a bag of bones.

I told him he didn't need to walk away forever.

Just calm down, give the relationship a short break for like 2 weeks. When you two are no longer clouded by emotions, then make the decision whether to get back like adults.

And I told Guy X... I said... If I tell you the information I know, you must SWEAR not to tell Girl X ANYTHING that I said, because it will jeopardise my friendship with her, and not only that, it will also drag my informant into big trouble.

He said he promise.

I made him swear UPON MY LIFE.

He said OK.


Guess what?

After hearing all those reasons why he should walk away, Guy X was still hankering after Girl X. They were meeting every night. They still had relations going on. And yes... All this while as I said, Girl X has moved on with someone else; had relations with someone else. Guy X didn't mind. He chose to forgive.

I don't give a shit about that.

I do give a shit about this:

Guy X blabbed.

He not only blabbed, he sold me out, as well as the poor innocent person who told me the info. He not only confronted Girl X with the facts that I told him, he also conveniently told her EVERY single thing I said about her, including my opinion that I think Girl X is scary.




Why was T wrong? Because T was in love with Girl X and he thought that Girl X was the victim??

BECAUSE GIRL X SAID THE EXACT SAME THING AS HIM, that she needed a reason to walk away??

He turns right around and backstabbed me... Why?

Because he wants to gain Girl X's trust?

No... Scratch that. I fucking have NO IDEA why he would go and tell her.

If he chose to forgive her actions, then why didn't he just keep his silence and keep going with her?

If he chose NOT to forgive, then just walk away! Didn't have to give any justifications!


To Guy X:


The final glorious thing I did for you...

Before you kicked me off to the Land of Negligible Sworn Lives...


Because I thought that she was stronger than you.

I did it for YOU because I couldn't bear to see you suffer.


When you wanted to go to KL to go for a girl, who went with you? When you said you are upset and needed to meet, who without fail went to meet you?




If I die tomorrow, can you answer to my mother? Can you tell her in her face that it's because of your freaking LOVE for Girl X? HUH? Can you?

I don't think you feel guilty over this. Nope... I don't think so. Why? Because the only people who matter to you are those you "love". Family... And your current love interest, whomever it may be.

Friends... What are friends?

It's ok to fuck them over, because with your superb talking skills, you can convince them to not be angry later on.

Go ask yourself how many times you have done shit to me and I have forgiven you.

When you did shit to my girlfriends... Multiple times... When you promised to help Mike in his job search and never delivered...

No need for excuses. I am done listening. You have the gift of the gab, I give you that. You can sell milk to a cow easily.

But I'm done.

I don't need friends who will casually fuck me over for vagina... and yes, even for your stupid fuck-shit dogs that I don't give a flying fuck about. I'll give it another kick down the stairs now if I could.

What's the big deal? It's just a stupid dog leh...

Life of a fellow human you also can casually throw around like it's NOTHING to you... meaning my life is worth less than your dogs?

I know where I stand with you now. If you wish to do harmful things to me like what you wish to do to T, all I can say is, go ahead and do it.

Think about all the things I can also do to you. All the things you said to me in private about others I could tell them.... A mention of your name, or your photo on this blog....


You know why? Because friendship is not meant as a revenge tool like that. When you confided in me, it is because you trusted me. I won't use it against you just because I am mad at you.

I remember the numerous good things you have done for me, and I forgive. Yes, I am angry now, but I forgive you. I just won't talk to you ever again.

And I'll die knowing that I did you no wrong, and when I tried to help you, you kicked me in the face.

Right. I shall calm down. Back to the story.

So now, Girl X is very angry, hurt, and disappointed with me. She told our mutual friend that she has told Guy X the truth about her actions the past month. She broke things off cleanly with her new guy.

Now, she says, Guy X wants her back, and Girl X wants him back. So they are back together!


What an awesome reunion.

They truly deserve each other. I am saying this is a matter-of-fact way.

In this world, there are some people who respect relationships and commitment.

These are the people that will never cheat, because fucking 2 people at the same time is just plain disgusting, not to say hurtful to the other party you love.

And then there are Cheaters. Unfortunately, the world is filled with unions of Cheaters and Non-Cheaters, such that the Non-Cheater will of course, eventually get hurt.

Thus, Cheaters should always date fellow Cheaters. This way, fewer honest people will get hurt in their quests for endless attention, correct?

I am SUPERBLY angry with myself. In my effort to help a relationship, all I did was to kick myself in the nutsack, metaphorically speaking.

From this moment on, I hereby promise myself


Because people in bad relationships LOVE it.

They love the drama, the mind games, the breaking and patching, the abuse, the shouting matches, the suicide attempts.

It's true! They love every moment of it!!

What's the point of advising Carrie to drop Big and go for Aidan?

No point, because when destructive people like that are faced with honest, good types, they get bored and they start unleashing abuse on the these honest, good people.

So don't be stupid like me, ok? If your friend is one of these, don't bother telling to say shit about his/her partner in an effort to make him/her leave the relationship.

What will just happen is that your friend will conveniently tell his/her partner every-single-fucking-thing you said, and the next time you see them together, things will be immensely awkward.

Yup. I have been really, really dumb.

Regarding Girl X. I've nothing against her. She did nothing to me, and her personal choices that don't affect me are not my business. As I mentioned at the start, I like her very much, because she is very bubbly, funny, and she's a very loyal friend. She has been nothing but nice to me, and I've been nothing but that to her too, except for the way I handled this incident.

I sent her an email apologizing for letting Guy X know the truth without consulting her first, and yes, I am sincerely sorry for that.

I should have spoken to you, but you were right... I was being a coward because I didn't know how to face you. All I can say is that I am sorry.

I don't wish be involved in all these sagas anymore.

I just want to write my script properly and be happy with undramatic, peaceful friends... and my undramatic, peaceful Mike.

Comments disallowed.

Saturday, August 16, 2008


In Singapore I went out with three people, I will change their names, one is called Hafeez, the other Kim, and the last David.

I've known Hafeez for quite some time and was out with him a couple of times when i was in Singapore. Anyways, when I was back there It was funny to meet him. The thing is, when i go out with him, there is absolutely nothing to talk about. I don't know what to say to him, i bet he doesn't know what to say to me. When my best friend Cassandra joined us however, the conversation started flowing, I guess Cass can get along well with anyone.

And later that evening I went out with Kim. Hafeez's ex. And the funny thing is, I've hooked up with Hafeez before. And I'm not too sure about it but Kim doesn't know, he doesnt know. Since they broken up, he might find out a thing or two from Hafeez or something, but as long as Kim was fine with me I was okay.

Not meaning to boast, but apparently when i chat with Kim online he seemed a little bit interested in chatting with me and hooking up, though i do play along, i don't really plan on hooking up, because as cheap as I may be, i will not sink to that level, imagine sleeping with Hafeez and then sleeping with his boyfriend Kim. That would be so dramatic, i guess.

So while I was with Hafeez i asked, "Dating anyone?" and he replied, "No. Not since Kim." So i believed him. Then when I was talking to Kim, apparently Kim told me that "He just broke up with his fling." So I myself was blur, "He asked to be with me again" came out of Kim's mount and I was blur. Who should i believe? Kim or Hafeez? I'm not sure myself. But it doesn't matter though, their drama belongs to them, i'm just an extra dropping by.

The there was David. Oh David. We called ourselves cousins when we got to know each other though we are not related in any way. So after going out with Kim I went out with David. He's so adorable, he looks like my cousin's boyfriend/exboyfriend called Azzidyn but he's taller, fitter but slightly less good looking. But oh well, the rest makes up for his slight lack of facial features. I wasn't sure if he wanted to hook up, but what does

"If only I had my own place, you can come over and watch movies with me." mean?

Maybe i was just thinking too much. But honestly I stopped myself as well cause currently I'm dating someone. Though I really do wish I could do him! Maybe once I'm considered single again.

Friday, August 15, 2008


Here's an interesting nugget of info about me... Did you know, that before I got my own TV show *ahem*, I was a calefare??

When I was 16, my dad had a friend who's a producer at the then TCS, and he went to tell her I wanna go into acting or something!

Seeing my very-much-less than mediocre looks, she told me that I can start off working as an EXTRA on films, and she gave me the contacts of one of then agencies who are responsible for extras.

And I "acted" in many shows! Ok la, I use the word "act" loosely... Actually I only walk around in the background. HAHAHAHA!

Don't believe me? Look what I found!

My old acting pass!!

Hahaha!! Very super chou right??? And I was still wondering why last time nobody "discover" me!!!!!!!!

What's with the half closed eyes man... How did my mother love me with such an ugly face??

So this Auspic or whatever company... Would dispatch extras to usually Mediacorp Channel 8 shows, where the job is sibeh low-pay and requires no talent whatsoever!

You know how low the pay is? Like freaking $2.50 per hour! The reason why people do it is because most of the calefares are either students or foreigners, and the job is really damn easy - so if you are lazy, this is a good job for you!

Basically, the calefares sit around while watching the stars do their job... This can go on for like 5 hours straight. Then, when it's our scene, we do a walk or whatever we are required to do, and that's it!

I remember there used to be these crazy loserish people who do this job simply because they are so starstuck.

There was this fat chick who was like 20+ and she carries around this photoalbum of all the stars' photos and would show them to anyone she can - and she will boast that Zoe Tay knows her by name, etc. Every single day she goes to TCS and hangs around there lor!! She was damn fugly man. I was quite scared of her over-zealousness.

So anyway, I really can't remember much of the shows I acted in, except for...

- a lot of episodes of the first season of Moulmein High (I was a student),

- Fann Wong and Ou Yang Zhen Hua show called Wo Lai Ye,

- A show about probation officers and Celeste Chong was blind in it,

- Some show where I was a nurse, and the doctor beside me actually used the "Wo men jing li le" phrase when his patient died.

- Confirm got more but I can't remember la!

I wish wish wish that I can watch Moulmein High again!! I was a librarian and even sheeshed someone ok! Talking scene hor!! Excitedness!!

Wo lai ye was a period drama... So we had filming at this HORRIBLE place in Tuas where they use for filming all local period dramas.

My god, I tell you, that place is a bloody HELL HOLE. I don't wonder why there are no more period dramas now anymore - I bet the directors and actors all can't stand that place!

First, it is RIDICULOUSLY hot there. There are derelict buildings scattered here and there, but these buildings all do not have airconditioning (then la... 8 years ago).

Inside the buildings are stuffy and dirty. Outside the buildings?

Over 40 degrees, I bet. The ground is hard cracked SAND. Like the yellow colour kind... The heat coming from the ground is so intense that at any point you can see the air molecules jumping in excitement. You know when it is very hot and you can see the air dance? Yup.

And worst of all, there are whole colonies of tiny flies that hover in a cloud above the sand. Hundreds and thousands of them! Sometimes you stupidly enough walk into a cloud of them, and they swarm around your face and shit. OMG!!

But never mind that, because the flies cannot attack our baked bodies as period drama costumes involve wearing 3 freaking layers!!!!

Who said acting is easy man!?

Anyway that's it la. That's just one of the old fugly photos I wanted to show you guys. When I finish editing I post them up!!

Ta! Have a good weekend!

p/s: Congrats to the Singapore women's table tennis team. May we get our first gold medal!!!!!!!! Woohoo!! I am so proud of Singapore!!

Weightlifting is so scary! I saw a clip of a weightlifter who lifted his barbell and suddenly, one arm bent over backwards at his elbow, severely dislocating it!!!

The weightlifter fell to the ground with one arm is a very very very awkward and scary position, his elbow very prominent but not thankfully breaking through the skin. His leg even spasmed twice before he presumably fainted. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another clip (which I didn't see but heard off) was of a weightlifter being crushed by a 140 kg barbell??? He must have a pound of minced meat left for whatever was crushed man!

How is this even a sport??! It's so freaking scary and dangerous! Why can't they compete pulling a truck fastest instead??

Normally I can't be arsed about the Olympics la but I was at Munkysuperstar's office today and everyone was cheering Li Jia Wei on, so I got a bit infected.

Back to the Archives.

This post are for those small amount of people who appreciate my writing. Well, the thing is, I've been blogging on and off for quite some time now. And I decided to go back to my old blog. To my surprise, my blog actually shows my weight loosing process. What I mean by that is you are able to see how I change following the decision to lose weight. I found it quite fascinating.

The funny thing is that I managed to read my work before, the way I updated my posts then. I found it to be quite funny, I used alot of "HAHA" and short forms. Though now I still use the word "haha", I don't think I used it as much as before. I do know though that I don't use really deep "Smart" words like phobophobia? Well, for those who want to see how my writing was like a few years back, here you go, an ancient post from the 14th of August 2005.

Okay Okay... HAHA!!! First of all... The weddin is today... But i can't give you the pictures
now... That is just unfair... HAHA!!! The next post will be all the pictures from the wedding
for sure... Today's pictures are different... They are all pictures of Wednesday's Island TRIP!
HAHA!!! And my camera... Woah... I never knew it could take pictures with such nice backgrounds
man!!! HAHAHA!!! love the pictures... Anyways... I met the three so-called H.O.T German guys
from Falk's side of the family... HAHA!!! Well... okay lar... There was one kinda cute guy
according to Jen... He is tall man!!! HAHA!!! His name is Patrick... My age... And tall... DAMN!

HAHA!!! He reminded me of Thomas(thoban's son...) Anyways... We took the boat to the island...
Speed boat lar of course... And me... Jen... Fabian(One of the german Guy...)... Philip(German)
and of course Patrick... Along with Helen, Kumar, and Dan... HAHA!!! We were all in one speed
boat while Carol... and sassy along with falk and his family were on the other... They left
first for the island because Kumar... Took so long to buy the ice... HAHA!!! ANyways... When we
reached our destination... Man... I sound so like writting an essay!! HAHA!!! I saw Daniel
waitin for us at the Mamutik Jetty... HAHA!!! Anyways... At first we thought we were on the wrong
island because nobody came and help us with the things... But they soon realised that we arrived
and they finally took the trolley and helped us... HAHA!!!

Anyways... We enjoyed ourselves after that... Jen was like... "jay... I dare you to jump of the
jetty..." and I was like "okay..." and I took of my shirt and jumped in with my swimsuit and
board shorts!!! HAHAHAHA!!! I swam to shore and got back up to help with the things... Awhile
later... We arrived to the perfect spot... Jen and I found a nice spot by the picnic table and
we just you know... Put our mat out... HAHA!! Daniel joined us too... If you dont know who
Daniel is... Well... He's a guy from spain(18years) and he came to K.K like so many times...
But this year is different from the rest because he met me and jen(haha!! Perasannya saya;)
I am supposed to entertain him as in find things for him to do with me and jen and have some
fun... But since i have to also... Entertain the german dudes... HAHA!! Just ask Daniel to join
lar... Anyways... He's a really nice guy... OHOHOH!!! And he's here to finish his dive masters
course... HAHA!!!

Okay... Continue with the trip... I was like... Let's go to the jetty... HAHA!! And then jen...
Daniel and I went off to the jetty and hung out... WHATEVER man!!! HAHA!!! Anyways... We were on
the Jetty and i was like lets jump!!! HAHA!! Jennifer was tooo scared to jump so It was just me
and Daniel... We swam back to the BBQ spot and jen you know... Flew...;) HAHA!!! We went back
to our mats again and sassy was like... "Kenapa kamu tida mix mix sama Patrick diorang tu?!?!"
and was like... "Umm... Jen.... Go and Call them!!!" and jen was like "NO!! You do it!!!" and I
was like "But you're the hot ONE!!!" and she gave me the look... HAHA!! Daniel was laughing his
head off... Since i'm such a loving cousin... HAHAHAHA!!! I went and called Patrick... He was
awfully quiet on the speed boat and according to Falk... He could speak good English because he
learned how to speak that so-called language since he was thissssss smalllllllll... HAHA!!! So i
was like "hey man... You can come and join us if you wanna have a chat"(with my fake smile..."
haha!! So he seemed blurr but came and sat with us anyways...

The first few seconds were conmplete silence... Jen's eyes caught mine as Daniel's caught ours...
We were like in an area where nobody understands each other... "So... Where are you schooling??"
My randomness just came out of nowhere asking the lost Patrick a simple question... "ummm...
(it's actually not umm... It's like you know when you blow with you lips closed and it makes the
flapping kind of sound...??? Get it?? HAHA!! well... Patrick was making that sound..." "can
you repeat" he said again.. I was like am I talkin that fast?!?!?! And the question poped out
again "W.H.E.R.E A.R.E Y.O.U S.C.H.O.O.L.I.N.G???" and Patrick has this really confused looking
face... Immeadiately we could all tell that his poor mind is trying to process my M.A.L.A.Y.S.I.A.N
E.N.G.L.I.S.H question... HAHA!!! And i could see Jen's face thinking... "WHAT A TURNOFFF!!!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!... No wonder she doesnt like white guys... HAHA!!! She still loves Her boyfriend
Sam anyways... HAHA!!!

After askin question after question... The three of us... Daniel... Jen and I finally decided to
give the poor boy's brain a rest... He seemed so nervous sitting with us... He seemed like a mouse
being surrounded by cats... HAHA!! poor patrick... "NOW JEN!! You go and call the other two!!!" I
said immeadiately... "NO!!!" Jen replied with the glaring look... "I already called Patrick" I said
givin her a *wink*... "Yeh... He already called Patrick..." Daniel said... Finally someone backed
me up man!!! HAHA!! "okay okay..." A nervous jen said as she wrapped her purple Sarong around
her waist and walked towards the slightly long haired German who looks kinda like those blond
quitarist with the long hair.. (not too long.. Shoulder length...)... Thats Phillip... Phillip
came walkin to us and sat on the mat... Jen came back awhile later because she couldnt call Fabian
who is Phillip's younger brother with short blonde hair... Anyways... When Fabian Joined us... I
was like..."so... Do you wanna go shopping tommorrow???" and he answered immeadiately... Looking
really interested "yeh... I would like to get a new shirt and a new short pants..." So... The
conversation went on... We were talkin about cars and also about Phillip's camera... He is a nice
guy who just wanna live a happy life... daniel was also talkin to them and Patrick sat quitely
listening to our conversation and also being told or translated by Phillip about our questions or

The chattin went on and my randomness came out again "Wanna go swimmin???" I asked Daniel...
"Anything..." He said smiling... "Okay... Phillip?? Patrick?? You wanna come???" I asked slowly..
"Okay..." Phillip said and then "(%^&*()%&^$%^#&" whatever German thingy he was translating to
Patrick but I think it's you wanna go swimmin... Anyways... I rushed to the beach and Daniel tagged
along from behind... As I got into the cooling water... All my worries just swept away... The
greeness of the tress on the Island next to ours tells me that the trees there are bloated with the
frequent rainfall thats been showering all over K.K... SPLASH!!! Daniel jumped into the water...
Along with Phillip... We were smiling to ourselves... I looked at Daniel and smiled... The moment
was just great... I could feel the happiness our the freedom they all including myself have...
I looked at the beach and I could see sassy chattin along with her husband's family and Kumar
and dan barbequing the seafood/lamb... Helen was supervising and I could see dan listening carefully
as Kumar jokes around like he usually does to pop a little fun into the Barbequing... Words just
continued flying out of sassy's mouth and the Germans looked blurr but I think they understood what
she was trying to say... Jen walked down the brownish gold sand pulling her mat and also carrying her
radio as she putt the mat right down under an old tree next to the tree's huge bark... There were
three caucasian women lying around 5 meters away from Jennifer whom are trying to get a tan from
the weak sun... The day was perfect as it was not too Hot... The sun wasnt strong and everybody
was happy...

"HAHHAHAHAHA!!! Nice day isn't it" I asked Phillip and Daniel... "Yes it is..." Daniel replied...
I had the feeling that Phillip was really enjoying the sea water... Suddenly... Along came Patrick...
Taking his shirt off... and then going into the water... He was smiling and i could immeadiately
tell that if he could speak my language(english)... He would say something... But too bad for him..
I was just focusing on chattinn with Daniel... Phillip seemed relaxed and Patrick's brain can't
process anythin English(no offense...) So... I was chit-Chattin to Daniel about life and Jennifer
came into the water with her mom's camera... The small but strong waves... Pushed Jen but her strength
was enough to defend herself from falling... Jen then tried to take some pictures but soon got out
of the water again because fear of dropping the camera was in her mind... "Jay... Can you please..
Please... Please take a picture of us???" She said with her begging look... "arent you scared that
I might actually drop the camera...??? I'm clumsy arent I...???" I replied... It's just an excuse so
that i dont have to actually get the camera... In the real world... I am not clumsy... But anyways...
I took the camera because i love her so... I took pictures of Jen and everybody else. Jennifer posed
in front of the camera while the other three, Daniel, Fabian, and Phillip just looked at the camera
with a blurred look.

When i was just getting into my moment, the moment where everything is perfect... The surroundings,
the constant chit-chatting between Daniel, Jennifer, Phillip and Patrick in three different languages...
German, English and Spanish... It felt as though I were in a triangle... Accepting whatever information
people give... But I was also giving out some information in Malay and English... But at that particular
moment... My body just gotten used to the warm yet cooling water... Everything seemed perfect... I didnt
want to get out until a loud screech was heard "FOOD" coming out of the mouth of my dearest cousin/niece
Jennifer Pedersen. She rushed to the barbeque pit and quickly grabbed a plastic plate left on the brown
wooden picnic table which is laying under a shady tree. Phillip and Patrick tagged Jennifer and went to
have their barbeque lunch.

"So... How is it like in Spain???" My randomness suddenly popped up again asking Daniel a stupid question.
And my brained just thought about the possibility that Daniel doesnt like talking about Spain and I said
again "If you dont like answering... Or hearing these questions... I dont mind...;)" "No... It's OkAi...
I dont mind answering your questions..." Daniel answered. We were chatting about almost everything... His
life there seemed so fun to me and to him... jen and jay's life is a paradise here... Through the
conversation... I learned a lot from and about Daniel himself and I would love to visit him in his city in
Spain called, Bilbao... (someday...)

Okay... Thats the end of chapter one... tune in soon to find out about chapter 2... That will be done really soon...


I Commit, WOO!

Two hearts are beating together.
I commit, WOOO!
I commit, WOOO!
Is this forever, and ever?
I commit, WOOO!
I commit, WOOO!

Of course the word "in love" have been changed to commit because I'm not in love, just in a way committed:P


As you all may know, or some of you may know that I was in Singapore recently. And the thing is about Singapore, well, my family from that part of the world doesn't really know anything about my life. Until now.

The world is getting smaller and smaller. And all of us are connected one way or another, from these friendship sites like Facebook and Friendster, it's already possible to stay in touch with anybody from any part of the world. So it's not new or weird is someone knows about the lifestyle that you go by, or in other words, the lifestyle that I go by.

My cousins there, or in other words, my uncles and aunties (who are just a few years older than I am), seemed curious about me. While I was there last April, I brought a friend of mine Cass to visit my grandparents, and immediately they assume that she is my girlfriend, though I introduced her as a "friend" they all jumped to conclusions, so Cass was so uncomfortable with the whole situation.

Ever since then they keep asking me about where she was. I just say that she's busy and stuff. My Uncles and Aunties who are in their early twenties however start to suspect. It's the fact that they added me on friendster before and in my previous account I was gay-er than ever. So once when I was walking to seven eleven with my aunt, she went,

"If you have a girlfriend, why does your friendster account states that you're gay?"

Damn! I paused for a moment. What should I say?! I thought to myself. I can't believe this was happening.

"Oh, someone hacked into my account, that is why I'm not using it anymore." I replied. A good answer I thought to myself.

"Then why didn't you report it?" She asked.

"Well I did, thats why it's being shut down, I'm into facebook now!" I replied again. My aunt just kept quiet though I know she wasn't satisfied with my answer.

I should have just told her. But I decided to stay closeted for my dad, I've been so used to being out and proud to the fact that I don't know how to be closeted anymore. Who knows right? My relatives could even be reading my blog right now. So If you are, well, here is my confession i guess? Just don't let the other relatives know. For respect:P

-With Love-

-Jeffrey James-

Thursday, August 14, 2008

The one month absence of Jeffrey James.

Okay, its practically goes like this, for the one month that I was away, more like one and a half, I actually had some sort of a life whereby I didn't worry about updating my blog. But then i realised, I need to do it. Since going back to Curtin two weeks ago my life hasn't been exactly miserable, yet. I've moved into my own place with my two house mates Fidah and Wani. So, finally i don't feel trapped and I could go out whenever I want.

The absence of my from the internet was highly caused from the fact that I have no internet connection at my new place, but I wasn't at all miserable without it, it shows that internet isn't my life. But I do go online sometimes la.

Anyways, since my absence, I've met myself a guy, his name is S**z. Sorry, not able to say his name, after kena taken action against:p And plus he's closeted. He's a med student, 24, and cute as hell. It was a fun thing we had and I am currently enjoying it! I don't know about what we are though but i can say that it's not a relationship but it's more than a fling?

Degree studies is so free, in a sense whereby I'm only taking four units this semester whereby i was taking 6 subjects in foundation. So I'm practically free. I am worrying about failing my subjects though, I've been having like a holiday, I still am on my holiday!

What do i mean by holiday is that I've been travelling too. I went back to KK after staying in miri for ten days, and then I flew to singapore for my great grandmother's funeral, I am terribly sorry for her loss but i can't say that I didn't have fun in Singapore. i met up with some of my old friends like Matin, Shu, Rohai and Daniel and they were all nice. Cass however was happy and so nice to let me stay at her place, it's so weird for me to see her being miserable with the facilities she has, though we all are miserable from many things.

It's nice to be updating again though.

And well, it's nice to see that my friends are fine as well, though i wanna know more about Allysa and Evelyn, oh, and I am thinking of getting a tattoo, the symbol is like the tv show charmed punya symbol. I wanna get it with Jen and Ness at the same time! Gosh that would be so fun!

Monday, August 11, 2008

New videos!


BFF applicants

I check out all the weirdos who applied to be my bff.
It's fucking funny!
Obviously the finalists are not these la.


The Orange Souffle Challenge

Who is the better baker?
Who made this vomit-looking concoction on the picture?
Hilarious! Click to watch!



We've heard of girlfriends who turn vengeful when they are ditched...
How about guys?
Maybe you should watch this.

That's all for now! I'm busy with my movie script.

Next entry I'm gonna post up old fugly photos of myself!!