Monday, April 6, 2009

Should I?

As you all know, I am currently in a relationship. I've been seeing this guy for the past 8 months and it's been a nice sweet journey. There are things that I've done with him that i've never done with anybody else, and there is also a feeling I have for him that i never quite have with other people.

But sometimes I wonder, does this guy want to be with me, the way I want to be with him?

A relationship to me, is something that should be filled with some sort of honesty. I have to say that we are quite honest with each other, we don't really lie about the people we sleep with and we do tell each other things that normal couple wouldn't really tell one another.

Understanding one another is also quite an important part for me in a relationship. The both of us understand that we are both men and that we have needs so thats why we let each other have fun just as long as we're returning to one another in the end.

However, there are certain things that he does which makes me question the "relationship".

I feel that sometimes I am not being treated as a priority. I look at him as a priority but I feel that he doesn't feel that way towards me. He also seems like he needs to be constantly reminded of how i feel towards him but never tells me how he feels about me. It's like we are completely in a way honest with each other but somehow I still feel that invisible wall between us.

It is of course unfair for me to say that it's all his fault. We are in different phases of our lives, he is 25 and I am 20. It's not much difference in terms of age. But in terms of phases, he is at the stage whereby he is reaching the life of independence whereby I am at the stage where I'm still studying, partying and just being young. I understand that we want different things, I want to be with him as much as I can cause right now, my priorities are, 1.family/friends,2.studies, 3.Him. But I don't think I'm even his priority. I feel that he is focusing on other things in his life whereby I am left here to wonder.

So should i end it?

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