I was having a row with my wife over who was boss of the house, so I told her "From now on you will cook my dinner when I want it, you will iron my clothes without complaint, you will do the shopping and remember to ring me beer, and tonight I am going out to dinner with my friends and do you know who will be tying my shoelaces and straightening my tie ?"

She looked me squarely in the eye and said, "Yes, the undertaker."