Putting an old advise to good use

Please bear with me, I'm using my black berry to update this post:)

I remember being 17, being the talk of town because I came out of the closet. I went crazy with the whole 'homosexual' lifesty$e and thought that 'I'm gay, and I want everyone to know' or in other words, diplay my sexuality in the whole in your face manner.

I remember holding my then boyfriend's hands in public and making out in public which garnered a lot of stares because a lot of people in town were not used to that. It was stupid, I was young.

My best friend's mom then gave me an advice "I don't have anything against your sexuality, but you shouldn't flaunt it to everyone as well because you respect them, and they'll respect you." The advice went something like that la.

At that age I thought the advise was insulting, or narrow minded. I thought that I was being asked to go back into the closet.

But as the time passed, I started to learn more,I started to understand the advise that was given to me and implemented it into my life. I'm not back into the closet, but if you don't ask me about my sexuality, I won't say a thing.however, if you insult my sexuality, then I'm going to fight back.

I learned that people don't have to know that I'm gay. Unless they asked.

In relation to this topic at hand, today I went out with my date as well as some friends. And I was happy to see them. When I'm with my friends, I'm a totally different person from when I'm with my date. My friends bring out the queen in me la. So anyhow, I acted quite 'gay' and called my date 'sayang' repetitively. I was a bit loud, and gay in the restaurant.

So this date of mine suddenly got in a way turned off la.

And we did talk about it when we came home. He told me that I was too flamboyant when with my friends because when I'm with him I'm quite 'butch'. Butch is stretching it but that's the only word I can use for now. My date is very 'butch' and I like that about him.

My date apparently wants to date someone who is a man, so he told me about it. He said I was different when I was with my friends and well, It kinda hurt when he told me. But then I thought about the advise I received a few years ago, and related it to my current situation.

True, I was being abit too loud in the restaurant and in a way was flaunting my lifestyle, its considered mild compared to what I did before. It is not wrong but it's also good to be a man. I may be gay, but I'm still a man. Or in my case, not a boy, not yet a man la.

We discussed that issue in the end and compromised. Cause I really am in love with this guy. So well, I took the advise and I'm gonna try to control myself a little bit more.

I hope everything will turn out well! And thanks Aunt D for the advise:)

Xoxo

Jeffrey james