He lies on his bed. Thinking about what he should do. Should he be studying? Should he be cooking? Should he be exercising? These questions were running through his head. He then signs into Msn Messenger. Looking around his room, he wondered, "Should I be cleaning up?", his clothes were scat erred all over the floor. His study table was a mess, and his bed wasn't made for a couple of weeks.
He ignores the question and stared into the computer screen once more. An Instant Message then came in. It was his friend Karim. His friend who is currently dating his ex-boyfriend. "Oh, man, now I have to feel more shitty about myself." He thought to himself. His friend asked him how he was, he replied fine with a smiley emoticon even though smiling was the last emotion he wanted to feel. His friend continued chatting with him, and he continued replying.
Apparently, his friend was all the way in the United States. Karim was there for a holiday. Apparently Karim had been planning this holiday with his boyfriend for quite some time. And by knowing that Karim was in the states with his ex, it made him feel more shitty about himself that his ex was doing so much more better than he was while he was stuck in a shitty prison like bed room all alone with practically no good food to eat.
He looked out the window, and wondered how it would feel like if he just jumped out. He thought painful. What if he didn't die and just end up braking his legs? Life would be much more terrible that way. He regretted about moving to that dead city only to be closer to his now ex boyfriend. He wanted to leave badly, but due to family objections, he had no choice but to stay. He thought about running away during the end of the term, he thought about getting himself a job somewhere, so that he could at least support himself.
But he knew that without education he will go no where. Then he thought about all the problems he was facing. Problems regarding many things kept running through his mind. He couldn't take the pressure, but he just holds it in as much as he can. He hates feeling this way. The funny feeling in his stomach kept on staying there and the funny taste in his mouth never went away. he was sick of it, sick of everything, sick of the place he stayed in, sick of the lifestyle he has, sick of everything.
He looked out the window once more, and jumped off. He never felt better.
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